Wednesday, July 14, 2010

An Orthodox Jew on Big Brother?

Big Brother is probably the stupidest show ever invented. But I just discovered we’ve got an excuse—if we need one—to justify watching it.

See, the neat twist this year is that they have this guy Andrew on it. He’s a doctor, a podiatrist, I think. He lives in Florida. And guess what? Dude’s totally Jewish. I mean totally. He’s Orthodox. He packed tefillin and the whole thing.

As this girl on the show says, a waitress from Vegas, “Like he’s Jewish so like he’s got to wear a Yom Kippur on his head all the time. I think that’s what they call it.”

And she’s one of the smartest ones on the show. Especially if one judges smarts by breast size.

It does beg the question though. WTF is an Orthodox Jew doing on Big Brother? He’s a podiatrist FFS. Not like he needs the money. And all the chicks are goyim, so no showmance for him.

But first…

I began wondering how it’s gonna work out for him? How’s he going to keep kosher? Is he gonna have shabbos dinner on Friday nights? Can he turn his mike on and off? And WHY ON EARTH is he on the show which, btw, airs three nights a week, one of them being a Friday night.

So I thought it might be a good idea to follow Andrew’s progress on the show. It gives us someone to root for and gives us an excuse to watch. Feel free to comment. Love to hear what you think?

Day One. Andrew got off to a great start. He volunteered to skip out the first task and dress as the mascot….a Hot Dog. Nice going. I’m sure Mamma’s real proud. He faced a bit of a dilemma. See, a girl got hurt on the first task where she had to jump on to a big, slippery weiner. Andrew hasn’t told anyone on the show that he’s a doctor. He quarreled with his conscious for a good 10 seconds, no doubt mentally consulting the works of the great Talmudic scholars, before deciding the girl’s problems weren’t worth blowing his cover.

And speaking of covers. The real twist on this show is that there’s a Saboteur on the show. A person who’s not out to win the game but is out to sabotage the other players’ chances of winning. We don’t know who the saboteur is. We’ll find out soon, apparently, but the other players, the House Guests, won’t know.

Turns out our Andrew is the House Guests prime suspect. Not just because he wears a Yom Kippur on his head. Our Andrew decided during a house wide blackout to play tricks on everyone. Turns out during the blackout, the real Saboteur padlocked the food storage room. Now everyone thinks it’s him.

He can’t get nominated for eviction the first week. Volunteering to be the mascot in that first game prevented him from being nominated.

He faced another dilemma on Day Two. The Food Competion. As every die hard viewer of the show (all six of us) knows, losers of the Food Competition have to eat Slop for a week. No idea what goes into Slop, but trust me…it ain’t kosher. Andrew worked his butt off during that competition that involved the contestants looking for teeth in a hill made of popcorn (don’t ask) and luckily won.

No Slop for him.

What else awaits our Andrew on future episodes? Tune in….

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would like to exchange links with your site
Is this possible?