Monday, November 5, 2007

IDF stripper-assassins?!


And the winner of the most asinine report of the year is...

According to a Gazan publication, Palestinian males are being massacred, en masse, by gun-wielding, Israeli stripper-hotties.

First, let me start off by saying I have no way of confirming if the following report actually appeared, because I can't read Arabic and the homepage for this news outlet refuses to be translated by any software I've applied to it. That said, if this report is true, it's one of the funniest, most ludicrous things I've ever read. Here's the blurb that's been making the rounds on innumerable blogs and websites over the past week:

"According to an Al-Hayat Al-Jadida front page report, the IDF has turned to using armed, female strippers in its war on upstanding Palestinian boys. The newspaper reports that when any Arab rock-throwing begins, IDF soldiers run for cover. Then, the story continues, after some time of hiding, an Israeli woman stands up on top of a barricade and begins to perform an alluring strip tease. Innocent Arab teenage boys, distracted from the business of rioting, are enticed to approach, when, according to the newspaper, the woman, an IDF soldier, shoots them with a pistol she had hidden in her underwear."

Talk about "Shock and awe". It sounds like an aborted Quentin Tarantino story idea.

A post on one of the plethora of sites had a great quip about how even if this IDF scheme existed, which obviously it doesn't, it would ultimately backfire; Because the sight of a huge bulge in anyone's underwear is always cause for alarm. Or something to that effect. Let the bad puns commence.

(NOTE: The picture is taken from an absolutely stunning photo montage by a photographer named Rachel Papo, herself an ex-IDF soldier. Check out her website to see a terrific collection of real, non-exploitative, candid shots of female IDFers.)

7 comments:

Hipster Jewfus said...

And then we wonder where all these crazy conspiracy theories come from...

Blintzkrieg said...

It's nuts, I tells ya. Nuts.

Jorge said...

The IDF should send a few into other arab countries. Perhaps even non-arab Iran. We'd have nothing more to fear from their nuclear program ...

Blintzkrieg said...

Jorge, I'm not sure I understand your point.

Do you mean that the IDF women's blinding beauty would disrupt Iran's nuclear agenda by turning Ahmadinejad into a lusting, drooling, blithering incompetent? Oh wait, too late.

Jorge said...

Unfortunately, Ahmadinejad is NOT a blithering incompetent. He's effectively leading his country to nuclear brinkmanship and now has Putin's backing as a safeguard against American aggression.

I meant the IDF stripper assassins would be able to get close enough to him to accomplish their mission.

We'd have nothing more to fear from the tyrannical Iranian regime.

Blintzkrieg said...

Sadly, Jorge, you're right. The future looks less-than-bright when one distills all the info coming out of Iran now.

And the other unfortunate conclusion here is that even if Ahmadinejad were somehow to "disappear", I have trouble fathoming a more Israel-friendly regime emerging out of his ashes.

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